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Xiaohe “BOXIE” Chang:


   Hi, everyone. I’m Xiaohe “BOXIE” Chang. I’m good at working extra hours, but suck in chasing girls and kissing my boss’ ass.

2:鬧鐘不響,馬路不通,電梯不入,世界都不正常時,打卡機總是正常的.   Clocks not working, roads jammed, elevators stuck—nothing ever works, yet card punchers work perfectly. (BOXIE)


   A salary raise is our best leader. (BOXIE)


   I don’t have to work this weekend, so I can happily waste my time by doing nothing. (BOXIE)


   Marat was stabbed to death, and I’m worked to death. (BOXIE)


   If worms work extra hours, they are working to get caught by birds. (BOXIE)


   Don’t mess with women. (BOXIE)


   A man’s happiness depends on whether internet works. (Boxie is the happiest when MSN won’t log in.)


   If it weren’t Bush to keep me working extra hours, could you ever see me standing here every day?! (Boxie as Statue of Liberty)


   I warn you: don’t ever try to bully us bread earners! (BOXIE)


   Every capitalist is merely a paper tiger. (Boxie on Jingyang Ridge)


   If we were supermen, we’d beat our boss and then find another job. (BOXIE)


   If our company is f**ked up, we’ll do anything, ANYTHING! (Everyone)


   All staffs stick together with the boss, and become mighty all-mighty. (BOXIE)


   It’s painful to be broke, but will it be more painful if I become VC Gao for making more money? (BOXIE)


Lily Box:


    3 blind dates, I came to understand men more thoroughly. (Lily talking about her Spring Festival.)


    I wanna be a sugar baby. (Lily on Women’s Day)


    Lily Box’s perspective on men


In her childhood, Lily thought that Pan Jin Lian was a bad woman, and Xi Men Qing was a bad man. After becoming an adult, Lily thinks that Pan Jin Lian might not be so bad, yet Xi Men Qing is still a bad man. The way Lily looks, there are three types of men: Xi Men Qing, Wu Song, or Wu Da Lang—Lily hasn’t decided to which one she should marry…


    Lily Box’s expectations on love


Lily wants a romantic man for boyfriend, and an honest man to live with.


A vacation with a romantic man won’t be boring—Lily doesn’t want to be bored. Besides, a romantic man will make her days well spent. The romantic man should know something about music, painting, and should be funny enough to keep Lily happy. Writing poems once in a while will be great; his look shall be outstanding; clothes don’t need to be all expensive ones, but a good taste is a must. Lily Box thinks she deserves a romantic man, but no man she knows is romantic enough.



But an honest man is more reliable, at least he won’t cheat. The way Lily looks, if she got cheated by a dishonest man, her days would’ve been wasted, right? An honest man should know how to cook, be considerate and care for her enough that he won’t leave when she’s being unreasonable. Some days later maybe he will marry her; marriage isn’t that bad, and such a man will care for her more in a marriage, instead of getting bored of her like some guys. Such a man will also love kids and stay at home all the time—that would be great. Actually, at the bottom of Lily’s heart, which she finds embarrassing, is her expectation to marry a rich man…


There is always a man suffering behind the back of a woman who keeps a good look. (Lily on Jingyang Ridge)


VC Gao:


    C’mon, another 15m and no salary deduction this month! (VC Gao)


    Kill the bad guy, and build a golf course! (VC Gao on Jingyang Ridge)

23:尿不出,不許取笑我, 這是我勤奮多年的一點後遺癥而已。(VC高)

    I can’t pee—don’t’ you laugh at me, it’s just a side effect from years of hard work. (VC Gao)

24:根據公司規定, 拿了薪水的員工,不得擁有署名權。(VC高)

    As per company regulation, any paid employee won’t have the right of authorship. (VC Gao)


    Money is good, keep it in your pocket. (VC Gao)


    Fast food with meat


Life is all about getting more slices of meat! Since our employees complained a lot on fast foods, VC Gao improved our meals recently by efficiently increasing the amount of food without adding cost. VC Gao is a good boss, VC Gao said to himself…though he finds the slices of meat are much much smaller.


Huang Doggie


    Stand and sleep—the master of sleeping. (Huang Doggie)


    Every VC Gao is deceitful. (Huang Doggie)


    Our company is turning into a night club, a club that holds meetings at night. (Huang Doggie)


    A high-salary woman tried to jump off a building, just because she can’t find her Mr. Right? She wouldn’t need to jump, just share her salary with me. (Huang Doggie)


    I spend more money than I can make, and my work is harder than the salary can rise, how can I ever return to my ladies back home.


–Huang Doggie’s last words (in Farewell My Concubines)




    Office workers work with full strength for no more than 3 hours a day, and the remaining time they’re making contributions by increasing Internet flow.


    Fantasy is a necessary Viagra in an office.


    Welcome to heaven, please buy your ticket by punching your head against the wall.


    The most popular thing in an office is epidemic. (Illness spreads too easily in offices)


    The International Sleeping Day is the most important holiday for office workers.

37:大海航行靠老闆,萬物生長靠美眉 ,幹革命靠的是員工們瞪大眼睛流著血汗……

    Sailing relies on boss, life growth relies on pretty ladies, and business growth relies on workers who keep eyes wide open, sweating and bleeding…


    Become a white-collar or become a cynic.

上班族上班, 是為了做白領,做職業經理人,做老闆。如果不想做白領,可以不上班。

Office workers work to be white-collars, professional managers, or bosses. If you don’t wanna be white-collar, you don’t need to work.

不上班可以做什麽? 在沒有錢的情況下?沒有錢,又不想上班,又有文化,那就是憤青了。

What can you do if you don’t work? And you are broke? No money, no work, and you are educated, well, you are a qualified cynic.


    What can we do if we don’t work?


We can go anywhere, or go nowhere; we can play pc games, stay in a daze, or eat, drink, play, make friends, read, listen to music, watch movies, climb snow mountains, sleep on lawn, get in love with someone, make love to someone, cook something, make some meals, be a cynic, keep busy, etcetera, etcetera…


Anything we do, however, will soon get us bored. Only work and work extra hours, with supervision from VC Gao, salary deduction, bonus and with office politics and business that can never be done, will never get us bored…


    What’s for lunch?

哈姆雷特說:“To be, or not to be,這是個問題。” 哈利波特說:“伏地魔在哪?這是個問題。”

我們上班族每天都在問自己:“中午吃什麽?” 這才是最TNND的讓人討厭的問題

Hamlet: “To be or not to be, that’s a question.”

Hari Potter: “Where is Voldemort? That’s a question.”

We office workers ask to ourselves everyday: “What’s for lunch?” that’s the most f**king annoying question.


    Why the world is a square? Because the earth is a square. Why the earth is a square—because we live in boxes.


    Office buildings are boxes, offices are boxes, houses are boxes, cars, elevators, files, chairs, books and everything out of everything are boxes, and boxes out of boxes. Since everyone lives and moves in and around boxes, we are also boxes.




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